Last night as I was changing for bed I realized I had spent right around three hours online during the day: about an hour at naptime and pretty much every moment from the time I tucked the kids into bed until then, as I was getting ready for bed.
It embarassed me.
I have been known to think of other people, "If he didn't spend so much time staring at the TV he could accomplish so much more." Or, "I don't know how she stands wasting hours every day watching the meaningless stuff they put on the television." It's not pretty, I know. Everyone has a right to choose how they spend their downtime.
Last night I felt like a hypocrite.
It wasn't like I was paying bills, or blogging, or doing research for school for those three hours. I was just tooling around, clicking from one link to the next. Watching the meaningless stuff people put on the internet. Not accomplishing anything.
The list of things that I want to do is long. I have Christmas projects to get started on. I love to read. I've stopped journaling and have been meaning to pick it up again. I haven't been setting aside time to pray.
So if I have all these activities that I both should do and want to do, what am I doing sitting in the most uncomfortable chair in our house staring at the computer screen?
No idea, other than this clicking around aimlessly makes me feel like I'm busy while putting forth almost zero effort. And sometimes at the end of a hard day, it is nice to have that for a few minutes. But for three hours? That's a little extreme for me.
Today I spent an hour online. That's an improvement I'll take.